The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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