it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
