mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
