Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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