Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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