This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i believe in u and ur pee
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
