gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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