My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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