I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
