Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
