dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
pray to the hookup gods
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
