my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
