I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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