Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
