piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
