Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
