Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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