This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize