i barfeds in our rink
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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