my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
