they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
