Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
