I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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