So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
