he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
