hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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