VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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