just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
