And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
