I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
