No stitches, just platelets and will power
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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