Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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