Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize