She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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