I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
