he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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