I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A bitchslap is in order.
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