Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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