In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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