he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
