I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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