we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
