I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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