Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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