I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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