dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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