He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
