just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just cut my nipple shaving
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
