The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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