just come out here and I will go home with you...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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