Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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