I wanna passion pit in your ass
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
