All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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