Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
