"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We just shotgunned beers for America
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
