I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
