theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
