My brain says no but my pants say off.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
