You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
