so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
