He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
