I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
